A key question to consider if you really would like to deal with the anger habit is:
Do you want to be right?….. or happy?
Because from your point of view, it is likely that much of your anger is quite justified:
If the world ran according to my rules it would be a much better place – so who can blame me for feeling annoyed with the stupidity or thoughtlessness of others – with their refusal to recognise that my way is a better way…
That’s our viewpoint. We (as individuals) often sincerely believe that our way, our ideas, our values, etc. are the best ones. And most other people feel the same about their views. And we cannot all be right. Nor can we all engage in a daily battle to get the world to come around to our way. If we did there wouldn’t be much time for more pleasant things like actually enjoying our life.
But they are all stupid, inconsiderate, etc.
The world does not and will not run by any one person’s rules. (Mussolini tried it, and apparently got the trains in Italy running on time for awhile, but he didn’t last too long). The world will always be quite chaotic. That’s reality. There is no point in getting worked up about it. It is also a reality that the world is peopled by lots of people with (by our own standards) rather crazy rules, values and behaviours.
They will continue to drive their cars differently to us – and to have different views about what is or is not respectful behaviour, punctuality, tidiness, honesty, etc. becoming angry is pointless because it changes nothing, nor do we have the right to change other people.
The “right or happy” question
In essence you may feel that you are in the right when you get angry, but the key question is: does it make you happy?
Does it work for you? and for others?
A lot of people have an issue with this concept. What’s your thoughts?
When individuals disagree – both think that they are right and both are right …….from their perspective!
Don’t argue about who is right….this would be a waste of time and energy, not to mention the loss of relationship.
Try the 3 C’s - Compassion, cooperation and compromise. ”What will work for us?”
Expect the best. Expect compassion, cooperation and compromise. Expect and be respectful. Yeah, yeah! Easier said than done when in a state of difference. However, it is a choice. Do you choose to be right, or happy?